Honestly Battling

Listening to Christian music, surrounding lovers of Jesus as a border.
Trying to block out but what was rooted so unknowingly deep.
Core of life.
Noticed by the faithfulness of steady hands and heart.
Why am I wanting out?
No good excuse to want. Even with the strongest taunt.
I was born this way crumbles to the ground as being shot from an archer.
Seeing them doesn't help. How can I be attached with one?
Unchartered maps of none answerable questions have become my consistency.
Tossed around the sea by the waves of impurity and false satisfaction.
Confusion seems to be my oxygen, but you don't have to tell me again.
I know He's here!
But why?!
Oh why does it seem my life is crumbling like an avalanche? Looking side to side curled waiting for life to crush me… waiting… slowly realizing warmth being blanketed over me.
Seeing the war of rocks and snow being a braced.
It is He! The One who is so faithful. The shoulder and chest that is always there but so easily forgotten.
Oh the passiveness of apathy entangles me like marrow in my bones.
I have noticed I do everything possible for me not to 'fall away' but do I speak and take action?
Oh the passiveness of apathy entangles me like marrow in my bones.
Why do I scream 'I'm fearless' when I can't let go?


(Dec 9th, 2012 4:43am)